one night craps.

i am awake while everybody else peacefully rest their body and mind.
i envy them so much.
really.
i don't know why i should wake up right in the middle of the night.
i am blur.
i want to sleep yet this pair of eyes is very stubborn.
they refuse to shut as if shutting eyes means i'm dead.
i should not wake up at this particular time because of a few reasons.
first, i am very sure i'll start my day late at noon.
it means that i'll ruin my schedule.
next, i have no one to talk to.
thus, my mind will start talking to itself.
thinking about this and that and finally ends up leaving me in confusion.
oh~
besides, i will be in great tense as well because the surrounding is creepy and silent.
i'm glad that this doesn't happen continuously..
or else i also will suffer from hypertension.
in the nutshell, staying up alone very early in the morning is certainly not good for me.
it has more bad consequences than the good one.

p/s: ayat skema mcm taip esaimen. (=_=!!)

back off.

"fatin needs help.."
something tells someone that i need help.
lovely!
that's very kind of it.
:)
but actually, i don't think that i need help.
and thank God that k.long approves my statement that i'm not desperately in need of help.
everything will be fine.
i am just fine, totally fine.
your return doesn't really bother me.
i'm not being snobbish right here.
i'm just puking the words of truth.
I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU.
you are something yet NOTHING to me.
i believe in Allah.
i have faith in His power.
i believe that He will protect me from you.
so, stay away.
don't ever come near me AGAIN.
you may not be blind but your eyes may tell lies.
i am not as what as you are thinking.
thus, it would be better for you to back off.

self-babbling.

0131; definitely am.
my eyes refuse to shut.
why?
no idea.
i'm craving for a good sleep and a sweet dream.
but, my brain just unable to instruct myself to shut down.



so, what should i do?
facebook: i've lost interest in it.
friendster: so much the same.
ym: meebo isn't fun.
plurk: it's great that i have u.
blog: i hate to squeeze my brain right in the middle of the night.
huwaa~
i'm supposed to be sleeping at this moment, aren't i?
yet, i'm typing this insignificant post for the sake of nothing.
*sigh*

homesick.

i'm missing home so much right now as if there is nothing else to be done. actually, i have a lot of stuff in mind but i am currently not in the mood of working. my mind sticks at home. i can't think of anything else at the moment. so, how could i do my work?

homesick has been my good company since high school. believe it or not, i used to be popular among my friends because of my homesick. this is something that i really should not be proud of because it apparently has no relation to academic performance at all.

my home is really the place where my heart is. i cant stand being far from home for a long period of time. in high school, my homesick illness is really serious. mama has poured thousands advice to cure me but the situation is static. it is really a miracle to a lot of people that i am capable to stay in besut for two years despite of my critical incurable disease.

i used to think that i may change as time passes by. unluckily, the situation is much the same. i still got homesick whenever i have nothing much to think of or too many things to be taken care of. right now, i miss home damn much. i miss mama like there is no tomorrow for me to meet her. i miss my brother like i've not met him for thousands of years. i miss my bedroom as if it is heaven compared to my room in ipip. this may sound exaggerating to you but that is the truth. i miss home and I WANT TO GO HOME.

..my bed & pillows & teddies..


..bby bucuk syayam..


..mama syg..