Tuesday, December 23, 2008

fate; accepted! =)

when i was young, i never had a single thought of being a teacher. although everyone around seemed to look happy with their daily routine of a teacher, i never attracted to join this career..every day and night, i work hard so that i can perform well in my education, and this happen only for one reason, i want to fulfill my ambition. [&cita2 itu: biarlah rahsia~]

Thank God that i had never failed until the day came. muu~ i was speechless. i just now that everything would be over to me. there was no way put for me to get the scholarship to pursue my study in my dream field. there's one way, but i absolutely would take it as my last choice. i took sometimes to overcome the disappointment. i was grateful that i had great people around me. my parents, my family and my friends as well. they made me smile and cheer up my day so that i could laugh again. thank you people.. :D

i was touched when i saw how my father put his best effort so that i would get the best place to pursue my study, even though it was not in the field that i had always ever wanted. he helped to apply for all the scholarship that i was eligible. i was called for some interview and i passed a few of them. my greatest supporter at the moment was him. =) hahah..that was how the flowers of love began to bloom. ^^

after some discussion with my parents and family and all, the decision was made. i packed my stuff happily. the excitement was there in me, thinking of i would be going to Korea soon. it was something that i never even imagined before. phew~

but, then, this life had been so tricky. when i just about to feel the warmth of happiness over there, with my chingu and sonsengnim, mama called me to inform that there was an offer for me from KPM. her voice told me that she was so excited with this offer. i would be going to UK and i was guaranteed to be a TEACHER. hahaha.."what is so interesting about that, mama?" guu~ i tried to ignore the offer. however, when mama started to call me each day after class to ask me about this matter, i realized that i should not say no. huhu~ so, i waved goodbye to INTEC and the Korean programme with tears. and from the day onwards, i tried to prepare myself to become a trainee teacher.

things was hard for me at first. i was glad the there was lovely people with lovely heart around me. my tutor and the fuy0ohs brightened up my day with their thoughts and words. they stood behind me and that really made me stronger. i love you guys so much!

one day, i took a deep breath. i looked around me. everything was beautiful, and i didnt want to lose them. i look at the smiling heart around me. they were too pretty to be hurt. i looked back at my past. i looked at how the destiny had brought me to a place where i stand up today. i looked at myself, looking deep into my heart and my logic. now, i know that my tutor is right. "Tuhan itu adil. Dia tdk akan jadikan sesuatu itu tanpa sebab. Dia Maha Tahu apa yang terbaik buat kamu.." thank you ma'am. i'll always bear those words in mind.

there's nothing more to be regret. i will move on and just go with the flow. Allah is The Almighty. What has been fated for me was right. so, i will accept it just the way it is. now i am proud to say that I AM A TEACHER-TO-BE..ngee~ (^^,)

Saturday, December 20, 2008


i am so lost in this world of boredom.
i try to squeeze my brain for a fresh idea
but it's a total failure.
i try to speak to my heart
begging for a smile
but it turns back
and i saw a crack.
haha..berjaya juga melalut sepatah dua kata walaupun sdg bosan tahap gaban..ngahaha~ :))

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

kenapa dia berubah?

dari kejauhan
ku lihat dia tersenyum
lalu aku senyum kembali kepadanya
tatkala senyuman bersambut, silaturrahim bertaut.

dari kejauhan
dia hulurkan salam buatku
lalu salamnya ku jawab
dan kami mula berjabat.

dari kejauhan
dia berbicara kepadaku
bercerita sendu dan tawa
duka juga ceria.

cuma dari kejauhan
aku dan dia menjadi teman
utuhnya persahabatan
seakan tidak akan dapat dipisahkan.

itu adalah cerita semalam.
hari ini
jalinan kasih itu sudah bertukar wajah.

dari kejauhan
aku melihatnya
sedang melihat kepadaku
hantaran satu pandangan sepi
oleh satu jiwa yang kosong.

kenapa dia harus begitu?
kenapa mesti dia berubah?
kenapa dia menjauh dariku?
aku tidak tahu
aku tidak punya jawapan untuk itu
dan aku tidak mahu memikirkannya
kerana aku menunggu jawapan dari dia.

ditulis oleh:
Little Marini

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

what my blog is all about?

last night, someone had asked me this question.."kakak, what your blog is all about?" herm..somehow it sounds so easy..however, as i think deeply, i found that it is not as easy as that..ngeh3..

owh~ now i also wonder what my blog is all about..obviously, my blog is nothing related to academic..because so far, there is no one asks me to solve mathematics equation or write an essay of no grammar mistake at all over here..hahaha..but then, if there is one, i think i will give a thousand thoughts to such request..hi3.. ;p

erm..as written in "applepie itu saya" column, my blog is a place where i express my feelings and thoughts..many people said that i am a jovial person until there is some people who hardly believe i have the soft side of me..actually, i used to be a sensitive person and still i am..however, my weakness is that i dont know how to express that soft side of me..i dont know how to shout back at the people who get on my nerves..i also dont know how to show the pain i felt inside my heart..all i know is pretending like my life is a rose of no thorn..such a beautiful life with no obstacles at all..ahaha..what a lie~!*sig
h* since young, paper and pen has become my bestfriend..i used to write all the madness and sadness i felt on that day..i give all my heart while writing..after i was done, i will tear the paper in little tiny pieces so that it cannot be read anymore..then, i would just throw them into the rubbish bin nearby..huwee~ the feeling afterwards is indescribable..something sure is there is no more madness and sadness..i felt just like the feeling was in the dustbin! ngahaha~ however, as my sister said "zaman sudah berubah..dunia sudah maju..", this blog has replaced the role played by paper and pen earlier..it's going to be the place where i can be myself, say just what i want, and reveal my true feeling..that is the significant of this blog to me.. =)

secondly, this blog is a place where i can jot down my daily activity and thus keep my buddy up-to-date with what i am doing..besides, this blog will keep track of me what of what have i do in the past when i read in it in the future..hopefully, this blog will still exist when i am 65..ngee~

in the nutshell, my blog is all about me and my life.. (^^,)

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

my secret recipe..

last night izzul had requested me to post my secret chocolate cake recipe to my blog..
from nowadays it will be a secret no more..huhu~
but, then, it's ok lorh..

so, ladies and gentlemen..
get ready with your paper and pen..
here it goes..shin-jak! :D


well..i guess those are enough for the moment..
dont forget to try them all okey..

p/s: my secret recipe remains secret ^^

Tuesday, December 2, 2008


one of the most-talked-about tv reality shows nowadays is 'Gadis Melayu.' i dont really know much about this show as i have watched it only once and it's only for not more than 10 minutes. ngeh~ i was not to talk about the reality show itself. i just want to said something about the title; "Gadis Melayu".

shall i know what is the criteria of a 'purrrfect' gadis Melayu? this is because my mama keep nagging me about the gadis Melayu thing..huhu~ she said i dont have such criteria to be a good gadis Melayu..aiyo~ in my identity card it is clearly stated that i am MALAY..so why cant i be a good gadis Melayu? dont i polite enough? hey, i am polite ok..and shy as well..lalala~ ;p isnt that enough to crown me with the title ' A Good Gadis Melayu'?

it is not that i hate cooking..it is not that i hate to do all those household chores..and it is also not that i hate to sew and gardening like the othe girls..it is just that i dont really know how to cook..and to improve my skills in cooking, i have spend some time during this holiday to be my adik2 cook..owh yeah..they have made me realized that i have a little talent doing this job..hehe..next is household chores..huhu~ i am so sorry mama..i have to admit that i'm lazy when it come to these things..ngeh~ ok2..i'll promise i'll get my laziness over as soon as possible..about the sewing and gardening matter, well..er..how to say huh? at least i know alter the waist-size of my pants..and sometimes (long2 time ago..hehe) i went out to our rock garden to water the plant..remember? hehe..

besides that, i also a good malay language speaker..and a native speaker of not-so-pekat-kelantan dialect..i wear baju kurung eventhough not everyday..however, you must know that i wear baju kurung almost five times a week when i was in ipip..so, why cant i be a good gadis melayu? uwaa~ :(

whatever it is..no one is perfect ok..and i not craving to death to be a 'purrrfect' gadis Melayu..i am so me and i am proud of who i am..ngee~ :D