short note for mama.

dear mama.

may u get well soon. it is not fun to see u in such condition. this home is rather dull when u are silent. i would prefer you nagging me all day long than listening to u sighing weakly. i'm glad that u are getting much better today. stay in bed. don't be too active. don't mind much about the food. we can buy them if it is not enough. i'll take care of those kids. u don't have to worry bout them. the most important thing now is for u to recover as soon as possible. i don't want to leave home if u still sick. (but i know that i have to.. T_T) i really hope that you would get well soon. no more coughing or dizziness or what-so-ever-sickness. okay? love you ma.. :)

ahlan wasahlan ramadhan kareem :) - part ii.

when i was in form 4, i experienced living in the hostel for the first time of my life. being away from home was really depressing to me. i remembered crying silently each time i called mama in the evening. i missed my mum's cook so much. the hostel food seldom tasted good to me. there was one day when i was late to ds. after queuing for half an hour, the food had finished. nothing much left for the late comers. we had to wait for another 30 minutes for the food to be served. pathetically, the waiting didn't worth it. we were provided with pucuk paku and fried fish. i ate only a little and that night i complained to mama about this with tears rolling down the cheek. despite of the pathetic experience, i enjoyed those fasting days in the hostel. when we were too lazy to wake up for sahur, my clique would come and gather at my place at midnight and then we'll have maggie together. i had large stock of maggie in my locker. oh, not only maggie. my locker was so much look like a grocery shop. milo, nescafe, biscuits, milk powder, sugar, maggie, or cereals? you just name it; it would be in my locker.

..among of my dorm-mates in form 4..

during ramadhan, something that everyone was really looking forward to do was representing their dorm to go to bazaar ramadhan. we took turn to go there. sometimes, we switched turn so that we could go with our besties. stroll around the bazaar ramadhan with my girls was very fun. we bought those food as if there was no tomorrow for the bazaar. and i clearly remember the most famous dish of that time - kerangka ayam goreng which cost rm 2.00 each. besides, waiting for the time to break the fast was exciting as well. however, i put an exception to the statement when it comes to the day which i had to break my fast at another villa (accommodating seniors and f2 juniors) with other few bwp-s. it was not fun at all when you were surrounded by strangers and those wild eyes were staring at you with such a deep thought. somehow, it made me felt intimidated. as far as i could remember, we only went there once. none of the bwp-s could stand those fierce eyes staring at us.

experiencing the ramadhan in hostel for the first time had carved a special moment in the diary of my life. many things had happened in ramadhan 2006. one of the special one was malam seribu pawana. it didn't go very well but that's okay because i could learn from my mistakes. ramadhan 2006 was special because that was when i learned to be independent and be a tough person. i also learned to put aside my emotion and lead life using intelligence and rationality. yet, it was not only that. i learned lots more and that made this ramadhan such a memorable one. :)

ahlan wasahlan ramadhan kareem :) - part i.

ramadhan has finally arrived. in just a blink of an eye, it is already the 1st of ramadhan and the muslims in malaysia will break their fest in less than 2 hours. first of all, i would love to say alhamdulillah. i'm very grateful that i have the opportunity to welcome this honourable month again and celebrate it with my family.

i have always been in love with ramadhan since i was in form 2. back then was when i learned how precious each ramadhan was. before that, ramadhan was simply a month of fasting to me. then in form two, umi fall sick. she was in coma and need to be in the hospital. we could not take her home. in october, it was ramadhan. for the first time, i experienced breaking the fast at the hospital - just outside the ward which accomodated her. there was no chairs nor table. we sat on the newspapers as mat. there was also no more luxurious variation of food. we ate averagely what had been cooked by mama, che su and che la. i learned a lot of values those days such as patience and being appreciative. my ramadhan in 2004 was indeed the most dull one that i had ever experienced. we spent most of the time at the hospital. in fact, we celebrated the eid at the hospital as well.

in december, umi passed away. nothing much to be said about that. it had been destinied by The Almighty. we celebrated the next ramadhan without umi for the first time. the feeling was kinda weird somehow. and in 2005, i sat for my PMR while fasting. it was quite tiring and i often fall asleep in the exam hall. i was slightly depressed because i could hardly focus in the afternoon and i was afraid that i could not answer the question. i complained about this matter to mama. calmly, she said to me that sitting for the exam during ramadhan was such an adavantage to me. this was the month with full of blessings. she said that if i be patient and accept the situation with an open heart, with God's will my wish will be granted. those words easily touched my heart and after that mama need not to bear listening to my complain anymore. once again, i adopted a value from ramadhan.


to be continued..

an almost-come-to-the-end wait.

after hours and hours of waiting, i'll be leaving this college in less than 3 hours..
in an hour, ajim will fetch us to medan gopeng.
i'm so eager to go home.
i'm so eager to see mamabah and those little children.
i have something for them.
wait for me ok sweetheartS?
;)


..my heart.my life..


..my heart jgk.. ^^

p/s: those are pictures during 2007 eid. auww~ ta sabar maw raya lg..

yang pahit itu ubat.

jikalau anda menjadi insan terpilih untuk sentiasa menelan kepahitan dunia..
bersabarlah..
jangan mengeluh..
kerana yang pahit itu adalah ubat..
dan ubat itu adalah penawar..
:)
sesungguhnya ada ganjaran yang menanti buat mereka yang sabar..

the nerdy returns - again.

i woke up very early this morning. believe it or not, i woke up at 2.40 a.m. - after dozzing off for an hour and half. a big thank you to si nerdy who disturbed my sweet dream. i really hate you for that.

i tried my very best to ignore all those sounds made by this fella and returned to the dreamland. However, si nerdy seemed to fool around with me last night. when i was awake, it kept silence. once i started to shut my eyes, it will come out with all kind of sounds. it wasn't funny at all okay? i really felt like cursing you last night. somehow, i wish that you aren't the islam one; for i think that that kind of your species is much easier to be handled.

after half an hour, i decided not to continue my sleep. i called mama and told her what's going on. mama was quite worried but she didn't really need to feel so as i'm getting used to this distraction thingy. i talked to her for about fifteen minutes. she advised me to do this and that and then go to sleep. although it was only a short talk, i felt greatly relieved. i didn't feel scared anymore after that. well, there was serenity in a mother's voice. thank you ma for picking up the phone in the middle of the night and helped to calm me down. :)

..my super duper loving mama..

i went back to bed after 6 a.m. and that was actually after fara had woke up. this rarely happened. it was quite strange to see my lovely roommate waking up that early for we both were a bed-lover. later, during the assembly, she told me that she didn't really intend to wake up at that particular time. yet, she had to. she had got her own experience with suku sakat si nerdy last night. hurm..it's an unthinkable-yet-memorable night i must say.

to si nerdy:
when are you going to let me go eh? and i was wondering, where were you all these while? you haven't show up for sometimes. i thought that you have gone already. so, why do you return this time? is it because i tell fara that i thought that you have left? thus, you make this come back to tell me that you are still here. is it like that?????

i have to change.

i haven't updated my blog for a few days.
and i still do not finish writing three posts in my to-do-list.
i do not know why, but i am not in the mood of writing lately.
and my laziness is at its highest peak these days.
i have so many tasks to be completed yet i have completed none so far.
i really wish that i can be as hardworking as deeba.
spending her time doing beneficial things and be a productive person.
contrary to me, i use up my time idly - so idly to the extent that the only profitable action that i do in a day is going to class.
i want to change.
and i really need to change.
it is very crucial for me to kick out the bad behaviour of mine from myself as soon as possible.
it is totally useless to have them in me.
i gain nothing from them except regret.
it is totally worthless right?
i hope that what i have scribbled here would be realized.
it is not easy to change and of course you cannot see those changes overnight.
i am not a transformer by the way.
however, it is a must for me to try my best to get rid of my negative traits.
may Allah be with me in my attempt to be a better person for no one one can give me a better guidance other than Him.
:)